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Planning Ahead

Most of us have said, "I want to be cremated" or "I want to be buried at ___ Cemetery." Or maybe we've even said, "When the time comes, Mom's going to be buried next to Dad."

Let's face it, planning what will happen when we or someone dear to us dies, is not on anybody's list of favorite things to do. It can however, be a very gratifying thing to do. There are a few reasons to do this -

  • It gives a strong sense of peace that it's taken care of.
  • Most people say it was easier to plan a loved one's services ahead of time, than it was for another person's services that was planned when the death actually occurred.
  • It helps ensure that things are done according to YOUR wishes.
  • It allows you to leave the responsibilities of your choice for those left behind to be part of.

When you decide to plan ahead of time for yourself or someone for whom you will be responsible, call the funeral home of your choosing and say that you would like to plan ahead of time. He/she will try to make it as comfortable and easy for you as they can. Ask them to come to your home if that’s better for you. Don’t hesitate to ask questions and do whatever feels good for you. Your funeral director will help you with as many, or as few, of the details as you’re comfortable with. And if you're not comfortable with this funeral director, don't obligate yourself and don't hesitate to call another, or even another.

Some people may say, “Well, I’ve told my kids where I want to buried. Isn’t that enough?” It may be, but to ensure that everything is done properly and according to your wishes, there are two things you need to do –

1. Go to the funeral director of your choosing and discuss your wishes, however simple you may feel they are. He/she will listen carefully, ask questions, and also document the details. Having everything in writing is important. Be sure you get a copy for your own safekeeping of what you discuss.
2. Tell someone who will have responsibility when you or the person planned for dies, that you have gone to ___ Funeral Home and have planned the arrangements ahead of time. This is important whether they’re your own wishes or that of a relative or someone for whom you’re legally responsible. It’s important for someone to know that it’s been done ahead of time so there’s no confusion when the time comes.

You also have the option of prepaying for what you’ve arranged. It is not necessary to prepay but there may be reasons that make it important for you.

It may be that the knowledge that it’s paid for and not left for someone else to do. Keep in mind that every state has laws that require that the funeral home deposit any funds paid in advance to be placed into an interest-bearing account in the person’s name, until the time that the person dies and the funeral home performs the services promised. This may be a trust account opened through the funeral home, a burial account at a local bank, or an insurance policy or annuity that's issued through the funeral home. This does not apply for the kind of life insurance policy that most people have. Unless you live in a state where you can list the funeral home as the beneficiary, whoever is listed as the beneficiary can do whatever they want with the proceeds upon your death. So if you're planning that your beneficiary will use this type of life insurance to pay your funeral and other related final expenese, be sure you choose someone you can trust to do that.  


If you prepay, the funeral director will stress to you that any interest in the account should be left there to help offset any increase in their prices that may occur from the time of deposit to the time of death. Some funeral homes may offer some type of guarantee. Be sure you understand what that guarantee is. 

Regardless of whether you pay or not, just talking to a funeral director and getting your wishes documented and heard, is an important part of having peace of mind in this matter.

As with any issues on our website, or any death or funeral-related issues, call the funeral director your choice, or maybe a few, and ask questions, or email us at wecare@funeral411.com

ASSIGN AN AGENT FOR CONTROL OF THE DISPOSITION OF YOUR BODY AFTER DEATH
You can download a form here to assign someone as an agent to carry out your wishes. Assigning an agent is legally binding in at least thirty states. (For GA and VT, see links below.) As mentioned on the Home page of this site, this can be an incredibly sad and disrespectful situation when people fight over what to do with a person's body after they die and what services to hold. Most recently this has been seen with Gary Coleman's and Michael Jackson's deaths. Available for download in three common formats -

  • Microsoft Word document
  • Works  document (Works Word Processor comes included on most computers)
  • a Rich Text document (can be opened with Notepad, also comes included on most computers)
  • a PDF file  

 

If you don't have Microsoft Word or Microsoft Works Word Processor, you can open it as a PDF file. You need Adobe Reader to open a PDF file but if you don't have it, you can download it free (and safely) from Adobe's official site by clicking on this icon.

For Georgia and Vermont, there are specific forms for your state at these links -
Georgia http://www.gha.org/publications/public/other/AdvanceDirective.pdf 
Vermont
http://www.vtethicsnetwork.org/PDFFiles/Current_VEN_AD_Forms.pdf

Here is another form that will help you get started in documenting information for yourself or someone else, that the next of kin will need to have when death occurs. It also has space for information about the funeral arrangements. It too can be downloaded in whichever of these formats you can easily use - 

  • a Microsoft Word document
  • a Microsoft Works Word Processor document
  • a Rich Text document (this and the one above can be opened with Works Word Processor or Note Pad, both of which come already installed on most computers)
  • or an Adobe Reader PDF file.     
The most frequently asked questions about preplanning a funeral are these:
  1. what if the funeral home is sold to someone else?
  2. what happens if the funeral home goes out of business?
  3. what if I move or just want to change funeral homes?

Here are the answers numbered respectively:

  1. Almost every state has laws about a new owner of a funeral home that require him/her to notify in writing every person who has pre-paid funeral plans that there is a new owner. It also states that you have a right to move your plans and funds to another funeral home. The letter will also usually emphasize the new owner's commitment to serving the community and upholding the previous owner's reputation for service. Most people will leave their plans with the funeral home; however, this is a good opportunity for you to call the fuenral home or make an appointment to get together to meet if you have some level of discomfort with him.
  2. If the funeral home goes out of business, there should be a number that you can call to get a copy of the arrangements you made. You should have gotten a copy of them when you made them. The funeral home is required to give you paperwork regarding any funds you prepaid. Laws require that the funeral home deposit your money in an outside account, completely separate from theirs and your copies of the paperwork should state where your money is deposited along with the amount and an account number.
  3. Laws also mandate that you can move your plans and money to another funeral home. This may be because you move or because you simply want to use a different funeral home. Some state laws allow a funeral home to keep a percentage or a set amount for administrative costs they incurred. A funeral home may waive that and return or transfer the entire amount if you're changing funeral homes because you moved. If however you're moving your plans because you want to use a different local funeral home, they may be more likely to keep the maximum amount that the state law allows. If the funeral home does that, you're probably making a good decision to use a different funeral home. 
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